Oh that's just fucking marvelous !!! Apparently the Paypal gadget doesn't work...so I removed it. Sux to be me...just bring cash... whatever.
I believe you can just go through the main Paypal site and send the $$$ to fingers@directfx.com.au
I don't ask for much in life...and to date I've got what I asked for...
As an almost fifty-year-old, single white male, fully-employed, with no obvious handicaps and living in C*nt Point with my two cats...I rarely qualify for any kind of government assistance. I dutifully pay my taxes, direct and indirect...and yet I didn't get a share of the 'Cash Splash' back at XMAS '09...even though I was perhaps the best person they could have given it to. I mean, who better to waste free $$$ on something frivolous than a man who doesn't need it in the first place ??
Now, as you know I will be turning fifty later this year...and as a reward for a lifetime of giving generously to others...whether it be through my collection of World Vision Witches in Haiti...or simply buying lavish gifts for my friends on their birthdays and weddings...I treated myself to a modest little beach house up at Hawks Nest.
And this is it !!!
A sad little Spanish-style bungalow, built in the 80s from the sort of bricks you normally find in Paddington retirement villages.No beach views either; the rolling surf is more than 800 metres away...
Even sadder...this is the lounge room !!!
The delapidated furnishings belong to the previous owner...a poor man somewhat like myself...but much older. One morning his children arrived and took him off to The Geezer Farm before putting his house on the market...the poor bastard never even had the chance to gather up his belongings...
But enough about him; he's history...and back to a tragedy much closer to home...
JUST HAVE A LOOK AT THAT SHITTY FLOOR !!!
Seriously, have a look at it. In fact it looks better in the photo than it does in real life. That photo does not even begin to capture the full shitiness of those shitty tiles; they should be torn up and donated to The Australian Museum of Shit !!!
Which is precisley what I shall do...with your help.
Here's another view of them...just in case their complete shittiness still hasn't sunk in.Of course that shitiness is all relative, compared to the shitiness of the shitty kitchen...but try and imagine how really, really shitty the tiles would look under/next to a gleaming new, all white kitchen with Caesarstone benchtops and stainless steel appliances...
Now imagine the shitty, shitty tiles gone...and in their place under the gleaming kitchen...THESE.
Australian hardwood timber floorboards, painstakingly hand-recycled by Christmas Island detainees...
I know what you're thinking; MUCH BETTER !!!
Well, with your generosity you can make this dream a reality for Dear Old Fingers.
This year, instead of getting me something you'd like (eg...bath towels, DVDs, champagne, wall art or anything made by Alessi)...get me something I'd like. Instead of getting me something amusing (eg...a walking cane, a gym membership, adult nappies or Viagra)...get me something useful. Instead of turning up with a bottle of nice red you remembered to buy on the way to the party...give the gift that hardwood floors are made from (apart from hardwood itself)...$$$.
For as little as $200 per square metre you can make an old man's life just that bit better.
And I need just fifty square metres to complete the dream.
So why not buy me a square metre of dream ?? Or two...or three ?? Especially you married couples out there sipping on your freshly brewed home-made espresso coffee...or you guys opening wine bottles with your lever-action corkscrews...or you girls listening to your IPod-nano...all courtesy of Mr Thoughtful over the years.
Form syndicates if you have to...
And remember, this is almost certainly the first, last and only decent gift you'll ever have to get me; not much chance you'll be up for a wedding present, baby shower or even a 60th if my cholesterol levels are to be believed...
Please register with this site (it's free) and use the comment section to make your pledge to the HNBHRF......
And please feed my fish below before you go...xxx
